If you’re experiencing harassment, discrimination, or incivility, or believe you are, act quickly to put a stop to the behaviour and prevent the situation from getting worse.
Acting early allows for better management of the problem and reduces or eliminates the harm the behaviour may cause you and your place of work or study. Generally speaking, the harasser won’t stop their behaviour if you don’t take action. The harassment or rudeness may even get worse.
Talk to someone you trust: a friend, colleague or family member. Keep all evidence and record the details (date, time, location, name of perpetrator, names of witnesses, actions taken, etc.).
- If you’re in this situation, you can talk to someone you trust, like a close friend, a colleague, or a family member. It’s important not to isolate yourself.
- Keep all evidence and note the details of the incident (date, time, location, name of aggressor, names of witnesses, actions taken, etc.).
Psychological harassment and incivility
Harassment can feel very similar to interpersonal conflict. In both cases, the relationship with the other person is strained, and one can certainly feel threatened and want to avoid the other person when things escalate. This can make it difficult to see the difference between the two, especially since harassment unfortunately often stems from interpersonal conflict.
That’s why it’s so important to identify conflict in your place of work or study and take steps to prevent it from escalating. When a dispute or misunderstanding arises, we encourage you to discuss it with the other person using nonviolent communication (NVC), a proven and effective technique.
How to take action to stop harassment or incivility
Observe
Observe without making value judgments or generalizations. Avoid statements like “You’re always late/grumpy/sad.” Instead, try: “We had an appointment at 6 p.m. It’s 6:15. I would have appreciated a warning if you were going to be late.” Expressing a non-judgmental observation keeps the other person open to conversation.
Express your needs and feelings
When needs are unmet, they’re accompanied by negative feelings that can hinder communication if they aren’t expressed, or if they are expressed but in an accusatory way. Identifying and expressing them means making amends and finding solutions. Each person needs to express their feelings. For example: “When I hear these words, I feel put down/sad/upset/angry.”
Request
This is the last step in NVC, and involves expressing a request. Don’t wait for others to guess what you need; say it outright. “I’d like you to say hello to me when we meet in the morning” is easier to understand than “Be nice.” Ask for feedback from the other person to make sure they’ve understood.
In short, tell the disrespectful person that their behaviour is bothering you and ask them to stop. If necessary, you can inform them that you intend to report the problem if their behaviour doesn’t stop. In most situations, this will be enough to stop the problematic behaviour(s).
More information
We invite you to watch this short video (in French) explaining in simple terms what constitutes incivility in the workplace. This resource will give you concrete tools to use when you’re dealing with incivility. In the same vein, we’d like to share a page outlining the keys to giving and gaining respect in the workplace.
This short video (in French) defines incivility in the workplace in plain terms and gives viewers practical tools for intervening when it occurs.
Ask for help
If you can’t bring the situation under control, you can ask for help from someone you trust or someone in authority, from the Human Resources Department (if you’re a staff member), or from the Graduate Studies and Student Success Service (if you’re a student). No form of incivility or harassment should be tolerated. INRS encourages you to report any incident as soon as it occurs. As set out in INRS’s Harassment, Discrimination, and Incivility Policy, you may file a complaint by sending an email to the Complaints Office.
Sexual harassment
Sexual harassment and violence are destabilizing and can be very distressing. It’s important to ask for help and talk to someone you trust.
Above all, don’t blame yourself. The only person responsible for sexual harassment or violence is the person who commits it.
If possible, tell the person that their sexual gestures and/or words are bothering you and that they’re unacceptable. If necessary, tell them you’ll report the problem if it doesn’t stop. In most situations, this will be enough to stop the harassment.
- If the situation persists or you feel unable to act without outside support, don’t hesitate to ask for help by talking to someone in authority (like a manager, faculty member, student association or student services officer, department director, or general manager), or by calling INRS’s specialized resource at 1-888-401-VACS (8227).
- Call 9-1-1 if you fear for your safety.
- If you have been sexually assaulted recently (within the past 5 days), you can contact Info-Social at 8-1-1 or emergency services at 9-1-1. Their services are confidential and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Domestic violence1
Domestic violence has devastating effects on the mental and physical health of those who experience it. The more the cycle repeats itself, the more the violence is perceived as normal, even justified.
The person’s tolerance threshold rises and they may begin to doubt their feelings and their understanding of the situation. They may feel the need to justify their attitudes and behaviour to avoid further aggression. The violence creates a negative self-image, accompanied by insecurity and a lot of fear. The person often internalizes the violence; they may become anxious and depressed, in addition to having to deal with the after-effects and trauma from the blows themselves.
Someone who’s experiencing domestic violence may turn to those around them, as well as their school or workplace, for help. Support in the form of listening and discussion, as well as referrals to specialized organizations, can make all the difference.
If you think you’re experiencing domestic violence, you can get help from someone you trust. You can also turn to several resources.
There are also INRS resource persons trained to provide confidential support. You can contact them by emailing vcf@inrs.ca. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel the need.
You are not alone!
[1] Text adapted and translated from Regroupement des maisons pour femmes victimes de violence conjugale (RMFVVC). Guide pratique à l’intention des employeurs, des syndicats et des employé.e.s. 2021.
Need help or someone to talk to?
Call 1 888 401-VACS (8227) or write to comitevacs@inrs.ca.
Resources are available to the community free of charge and in complete confidentiality.
